Pigs died when my heart broke into a million crying maggots....
My stomach has butterflies that are all sick and dying slow as they try to fly around in the
sickness of heart breaks and stomach pain caused by the all so dying heart....

The butterflies are fragile just like my heart is..they die soon so will my heart....
My soul seems to be lost and it cant find a home i drive and it seems endless....
My smile is so plastic that i hate looking at myself in the mirror due to that plastic fake smile..
My legs feel like they dont have blood running through them anymore and i dont feel tired even if i had to walk 300km's.....
It seems that life is bitter even though it seems super sweet but through the eyes of my family,you,loved ones and friends but it goes away the minute they have to return to their own ways.....I wish for a falling star to hit me hard so that i could be so wishfull....

At time's i feel like i go through days without knowing that days are passing by...it scares me...

So much for german pork knuckle's and good german beer......so long so far away...

?

its weird how soft our hearts & feelings are....at times i wish i could be just cold and not care about anything...

I try my best to change to suit things around you,but never do you actually care to take note on the changes rather you just pick on the negative part only...

I really dont get it when people argue all their mind is set on is the bad & negative part...
I'm not saying that i'm a perfect saint and that i just focus on the good i do that also, but after awhile it hits me that our time is short why argue and just get more worked up on things. I tend to look at the good times that we had which mellows the anger and all...

Changes changes changes it takes two hands to clap if one tries to change why cant the other half see that and also try to change his or her ways???
Yeah it might be said that chances were given before and all...but nobody is perfect and sometimes people do realize it too late,maybe i did if i'm all super wrong for being worried about your certain habit's and what not....

Another thing is anybody and everybody will agree that no matter how good a guy friend is, it does not me that you can just be with him all the time just because he's your best bud and what not...there's lines which we should not cross...feeling are involved here...to make matter's worse you lie....which you cant explain why....my heart has been broken already but the lies which now makes want to know the answer why...If there's nothing why lie....the only reason people lie is because they have something to hide...I want to talk things out you dont give a chance or you get angry all the time or you just say that i say what i want to say and you dont get your point out...well if and only you could be calm and see things in apositive and talk things instead of the negative way...
so many tears so many heart breaks so many scars so many questions without an answer....
if a wrong doing is on your part things will be turn around to make it seem that it was my wrong doing instead of yours....just because your angry you said harsh hurtfull words but if i get angry and do the same i'll get even more for not thinking before i speak but you are allowed to do so...
I haveno where to run or go to...I'll face the music and i'll see things through...i dont run away from things even though i cant handle it....you easy angry run away drink it away and act like nothing ever happen...Is that the way??? then lie through your nose...but lil do you know that i have eyes all around and i'm not stupid to know if your lying....you always say this now let me say this ohh please just grow up...your not under 21 to be acting like that all the time and when you one you just be matured for the moment....I try my best to understand you,i work hard to make sure bill's are paid...But you just can't be honest towards to me....
As much as i want to pull the plug a lil voice keeps saying dont be like you...try too see things through...after all how long can you run away from things???
There's so much i want to say to you but you just wont listen but on the other hand you want me to listen to you...

Its like neither one of us will ever change,we're both the same, and that's a shame....cause when we were together it was right we had it all, you and I....

I really don't know what to do...I'm at the end...as much as i wanted to stop you i stopped my self from doing so...you left and you came back to sleep...I was happy as long your safe even though you had to puke so much..... let's just see what later and the days to come has in store for me,you & us.....Let's say hello tommorow.....and good bye to yesterday...

Honesty works the best...all could have been good if and so honesty was used....

New Ink

Some words for to remember and remind myself when I'm angry.take it as lesson to be learned or reminder to myself....

-Listen Hard-
-Speak Soft-

Maybe I'll get this inked on me as a constant reminder.

take care and much love,
Ian Dias

Date's to remember

August the 15th 2009, you were born into this world at 1000hrs something..joy to the world

Two months later on...

October 24th 2009, we drove all the way to Johor to get you from your breeders...

Come this November 15th 2009 you will be 3months old...
You are one bundle of joy with a full charge level of energy that will never stop...
You smell like shit some times and that's because you sit on your own shit but we still love you...
You made me broke but you give me love which at time's i cant handle myself..but its cool
You like to dig up my garden and i do hope you stop soon as i love my garden...
You always seem to be happy even though your face looks like you wanna rip me apart...
You cant never stop doing that ngam ngam thingy with your jaw and best part your still running on your milk teeth

Tinkerbell i love you loads....

ps:internet connection sucks big time hence cant upload a picture of her...

Nice Guys Finish Last...

Perhaps...or is it a fact...
if its a sure true fact then Bill Gates is one hell of a badass...
hence Microsoft is evil :0

When your heart stops beating

She's a pretty girl. She's always falling down.
And I think I just fell in love with her,
But she won't ever remember, remember.
And I can always find her at the bottom of a plastic cup.
Drowning in drunk sincerity.
A sad and lonely girl.
Quit crying your eyes out.
Quit crying your eyes out and, Baby come on.
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on.
Quit crying your eyes out, Baby.
And she said,
I think we're running out of alcohol. Tonight, I hate this fucking town.
And all my best friends will be the death of me,
But they won't ever remember, remember.
So please take me far away, before I melt into the ground.
And all my words get used against me.
This sad and lonely girl.
Quit crying your eyes out.
Quit crying your eyes out and, Baby come on.
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on.
Quit crying your eyes out, Baby.
Quit crying your eyes out.
Quit crying your eyes out and, Baby come on.
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on.
Quit crying your eyes out...
Isn't there something familiar about me?
Quit crying your eyes out.
The past is only the future with the lights on.
So quit crying your eyes out, Baby...

Curb my mind into a liquid dream of a man

you can catch me on the West Coast, with a fly-ass stripper tied to my bed-post lookin' like Alicia Keys on her knees, lickin' the bag, just for a freeze

I reckon and bet you that, that's a sure A+ plus dream come true for every men...

But the fact remains it may not be Alicia Keys or Megan Fox...Just some random girl...
it will still be a dream come true for every men...maybe Sir Elton John also...

rhymes out of boredom...which kinda becomes word of the day.