The whole drive down town to that tropical wonderful island of dreams and much future was a real nightmare. The 4 hour drive was filled with questions of me asking myself countless times if this was the right thing, what if it was wrong what if it was a mistake or mistake not going down.
The songs that played on the in house player of the ride was a killer what worse was that I brought my bible of cds that were filled with jams that we use to sing on that long drives.
My mate for the journey all the way down to that dreamy island was your best friend’s other half, there’s nothing wrong to it…but it was like I’m going down to you hometown with your best friends other half. The pit stop at Tapah rest area was even worse as we all know and you know how windy it is at 3am in the morning. So many memories were running through my mind and it gets even better as we reached the island of hope.
Many have asked if I’m over you, in which I’m not cleaning up that well I have to say. Its not that easy as how you do not happy get up move away just like you would do it when you were like 15 or 14…So much has been put in and what not…Its better that I found now rather then much later which would have been even worse.
The whole drive I was filled with questions and me wondering and wondering and over thinking…Paper is so thin to be writing this on and yes very fragile.
At the peak of the journey which was the infamous penang bridge, there was a road block. It was like a last minute stop hoping to be caught by the cops and being put into a jail cell which I’m already in one. At least the journey would have never happened.
We checked in at this really cool apartment that has turned into a rest area or what Mr hard party rocker would say this is a one night stand pit. It was a rather nice one nite stop of an area. The place was Good Hope Inn, yeah me hoping for good hope to come in…wish fucking fools thinking..
Headed out to the 7eleven by the seaside and oh boy was it so alive…it was like 4am and people were still doing their thing which was really neat. Bought some beer and headed back to good hope in for some beer and some sleep. Woke up the next morning around 11-nish to meet the ex-momma in law to settle things or more like talk things out and see what would be the next best move. Long phone calls did not do much justice. Had to do a face to face chat in order to get things in order after that fat really fat tsunami landed.
Had a lunch at places you have always taken me which made me sick to my stomach and I knew it was not the end as we had tea time and also dinner which will be places you love to eat. Stepping into your house was neither easy…I did not look at the lil lane that hits into your room. It was the kitchen and living room where I sat the whole time. Your mom crying not the easiest thing for me to handle and I had to be cool and shed not a tear, oh yeah did my facial bones hurt holding my feelings in. It was a real though things on both ends for me and your mom. Having the courage to do it was one thing and not being to control the ride was on a whole new level. In a nutshell I was in your hometown without you doing stuff that would just take us further away. Every road we drove past by reminded me of you. So much to be written down on the memories, like a old movie being played over and over again. Scenes would go from colour then to black and white…..and memories would fade in and out. The more I close my eyes the more real it becomes. Thoughts of being loaded on coke was so strong but that’s not the answer out. So plan B drink which would not be that of the smartest move as the long drive back would be a torture. Plan C deal with what’s going on and still take the beating. Things you do when that four letter word which includes feelings and your pure poor heart is in. In the end each place that had you in, I just smiled and took in the pain. Days like this will past.
It was like that the whole time and I really don’t feel like writing or thinking about it. It’s been a week and half that I’ve been keeping this inside of me. I wished the waves could just wash away my pain. The coming home journey was a wreck which made things worse, the outcome I did become stronger. Thank you buddy boy for taking me around and also showing me around. Had a good time and your views on life should be on printed media for Hopeless Romantics like me man. Coconut shakes and the heat of the afternoon does make love burn right through you….
The royal wedding is going on, yeah Prince Willie is bald and his wife is smoking hot and everything looks so grand and beautiful and on my end I don’t like weddings anymore. Hope you had royal wedding to remember.
The Walking Dead is alive and kicking.
8 years ago
