I'm on the corner waiting for a light to come on
That's when I know that you're alone
It's cold in the desert, water never sees the ground
Special unspoken without sound

Told me you love me, that I'd never die alone
Hand over your heart, let's go home
Everyone noticed, everyone has seen the signs
I've always been known to cross lines

I never ever cried when I was feeling down
I've always been scared of the sound
Jesus don't love me, no one ever carried my load
I'm too young to feel this old

Here's to you, here's to me
On to us, nobody knows
Nobody sees, nobody but me


C.Followill your pain and sadness is felt through each alphabet.

Oh lately it's so quiet in this place
You're not 'round every corner
Oh lately it's so quiet in this place
So darlin' if your not here haunting me
Im wondering...

Whose house, are you haunting tonight?
Whose sheets you twist
Whose face you kiss
Whose house, are you haunting tonight?

I dont think much about you anymore
You're not on every whisper, oh
I dont think much about you
But if you're not lurking behind every curtain
Im wondering...

Whose house, are you haunting tonight?
Whose name you hiss
Whose clenching fists
Whose house, are you haunting tonight?

Now Whose house, are you haunting tonight?
Who cant resist
Whose cryin'
Whose house, are you haunting tonight?
Whose name you hiss
Whose sheets you twist
Whose house, are you haunting tonight?


Damian Kulash your a mastermind for a epic way of wondering on many different levels.

Self Esteem

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over, I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert

Now I know I'm being used
That's okay man 'cause I like the abuse
Well, I know she's playing with me
That's okay 'cause I've got no self esteem

We make plans to go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
This rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so

When she's saying that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right?

Now I'll relate this little bit
That happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
Drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no
But that's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb
But I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

That was written in 1994 by a great punk rock poet named: Brian Dexter Holland

It's been a long year

The usual rain that comes at night is just usually loud and windy.
Last night I did not drop a tear neither did I have that killer feeling of being cheated and kicked so hard and then carried up only to be kicked back again on to the ground.
I tucked up and gave a straight face and took every inch with much maturity. Well a few times I could not control and turned ugly, but only to tell myself not to go down to that level.

Back to my first opening line, fact that I did not shed a tear (in the most drama way why it rained in that way) in which I could say that some how relate to my pain that was running through me was just brought down from the grey sky that lit up the wee hours of the morning. There was no black there was no white it was just grey and that’s exactly how I felt. The wind was sad and dry and it made a funny sound like it was howling towards the misery and thunder was just a rumble of sadness instead of the mighty roars…the rain came down like tear drops slowly dropping at the moments of your life as it passes by you… It looked like it would get heavier but it never did. My sadness and my pain and misery were brought down from the sky. It was a really a sad midnight thunderstorm to suit a sad person staring out into the grey night as it unfolds.

One more time if you were to ask, I would just shake my head in disbelief and space out I reckon. Gone are the days I wait so patiently for you to come home worrying about your well being when in reality I know you what you are actually doing. All those headlights that pass by the house in the dark of the night lights my heart up knowing your home safe and sound, but only to be crushed when the cars and the headlights go pass the house. Have you ever noticed that, you were to busy getting filled up. The smell of another abounding with fat smell lingers around you. When asked answer of a 12 year old kid trying so hard to lie would be coming out giving the most unbelievable answer for a question asked. If you were honest things would have been better.

A bite on the bullet all I can do while I pick up the pieces all alone and move on making a new chapter. I might write a book or do a play about this one day……

A friend told me this during my worst times, “so raise your glass if you are wrong in all the rights ways.” I raise my glass for my wrong doings in the most right ways ever.

End note:

There’s a Minnie me, and I have a fattie me….do the maths….

It's not a secret, cause I can, I can do it better..

I never gave you a reason to hate me. Your just creating
your own little drama of pure insecurity.

Something from the vault of drafts....

A week plus from the tsunami that came and went. Making the arsonist even more awesome and amazing!!!

It's not a secret but a fact.....drum fuckin rock & roll for I'm a mother fuckin princess!!!