It's been a long year

The usual rain that comes at night is just usually loud and windy.
Last night I did not drop a tear neither did I have that killer feeling of being cheated and kicked so hard and then carried up only to be kicked back again on to the ground.
I tucked up and gave a straight face and took every inch with much maturity. Well a few times I could not control and turned ugly, but only to tell myself not to go down to that level.

Back to my first opening line, fact that I did not shed a tear (in the most drama way why it rained in that way) in which I could say that some how relate to my pain that was running through me was just brought down from the grey sky that lit up the wee hours of the morning. There was no black there was no white it was just grey and that’s exactly how I felt. The wind was sad and dry and it made a funny sound like it was howling towards the misery and thunder was just a rumble of sadness instead of the mighty roars…the rain came down like tear drops slowly dropping at the moments of your life as it passes by you… It looked like it would get heavier but it never did. My sadness and my pain and misery were brought down from the sky. It was a really a sad midnight thunderstorm to suit a sad person staring out into the grey night as it unfolds.

One more time if you were to ask, I would just shake my head in disbelief and space out I reckon. Gone are the days I wait so patiently for you to come home worrying about your well being when in reality I know you what you are actually doing. All those headlights that pass by the house in the dark of the night lights my heart up knowing your home safe and sound, but only to be crushed when the cars and the headlights go pass the house. Have you ever noticed that, you were to busy getting filled up. The smell of another abounding with fat smell lingers around you. When asked answer of a 12 year old kid trying so hard to lie would be coming out giving the most unbelievable answer for a question asked. If you were honest things would have been better.

A bite on the bullet all I can do while I pick up the pieces all alone and move on making a new chapter. I might write a book or do a play about this one day……

A friend told me this during my worst times, “so raise your glass if you are wrong in all the rights ways.” I raise my glass for my wrong doings in the most right ways ever.

End note:

There’s a Minnie me, and I have a fattie me….do the maths….