LAMB & RICE

I've really been thinking and having the strongest to start riding bmx or downhill again...
I need to blow off some steam...So far its been work and work and more work when i get home ie:
clean up after thinkerbell clean the house clean the filter for the pond....well the filter not all that great or crazy of a job to be done....But thinkerbell on the other is a big mistake i did...I took another life and placed in my hands to care for which in reality i cant take care of my our time or life...I'm really stuck at a crossroad I really don't know what to do...I would love to keep her but she ain't getting the love or care needed enough for her..I try though but I seem to be failing....at the same time I'm not going to let the Loft57 be ruined or run down by thinkerbell....I mean I tried to explain to the other half that hey we can still have a doggie but at the same have a beautiful house a awesome garden and you know what not....I mean that if the other people can do it why not us....why not right??? I've lived my whole life with dogs and pets and I know how bad they can fuck up your house....I mean I may not be a perfectionist in other things or certain things but when it comes to the house lets say that I'm super house proud...and I'm not gay...I just take pride in having a awesome crib....Its just how we deal and make sure that the dog does not spoil or destruct things around the house....I really cant accept the fact that these happens when you own or rare a dog...that's what you say...But hey we can avoid it...we gotta train or either make sure she has certain areas where she can and cant go...It's simple.....

Apart from that I really don't know if I should keep her or sale her....You say that I should just do it....Cause I keep saying that I will sell her but I never do...hey the only reason why I never did it is because of you.....I really don't know I'm in a super dilemma right now...yesh I do love thinky alot but I really have have to admit that I don't have the time....How how how O how....

I feel bad for her but at the same I cant do much cause at times I'm just so tired that I just wanna space out and if she is loose I have to be on a constant guard to see her...hence I'm not getting my chance to like totally space out and stuff....I really made a big mistake by driving all the way down to Johor just to get her.....Stupid thing I that I did....